The roomie and I decided to host a costume party for big kids tomorrow. Originally, I wanted to go as a zombie Anna Nicole Smith...an idea I've had for a few years. One day we were at Target browsing Halloween junk when the roomie runs across a gorilla costume. With child-like glee he runs toward the gorilla costume and decides then and there that he's changing his vampire Ron Jeremy idea (admittedly, very perverse) to that of an ape. I quite liked this idea as there was a banana costume hanging next to it. Immediately it was agreed upon. I would go as a very large banana and he would go as a hairy ape. (Not much of a stretch for either of us.) Dopey me didn't try on the banana costume and when I went back this past weekend to do so, there was only 1 left and the dumb thing was torn and stained to pieces. I tried it on in the aisle anyway and realized the dumb thing wouldn't fit on my legs! Off to the Halloween store we went the next day. Let's just say a banana with boobs doesn't look right and I wasn't about to be the "banana flasher"(yet another perverse costume).
Here I am, throwing a stinking costume party tomorrow with ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what to wear.
I guess it will end up being a surprise to everyone including me!
Whenever I have the most to do is when I also seem to be most inspired to do other things...such as update my very much neglected blog!
1. I've moved to Louisville! As of about a month and a half ago, I moved in with a friend in Louisville. It's only about 10 minutes away from my work and less than 15 from my school. The church that we attend when I'm not working is literally 2 minutes down the street. Jesus hooked me up! We're having fun, being young. I have a lot more time to do things and be lazy. I'm loving it so far!
2. At the end of August, I went with my roomie to Vegas. We did this just before I moved in. It was a blasty, but I can tell you, Vegas is filthy and the thought of going there is very unappealing. Next year we're talking about going to Europe!
3. In the past few months I started working at Starbuck's and quit working at Starbuck's to go back full time to the cupcake bakery. I'm very happy with my decision as I am able to support myself better and love the girls I work with! Every job has its issues, but the benefits far outweigh those in this situation.
4. I am in my 3rd term at school going for my bachelor's in Hospitality Management. I hate school and I especially hate the school that I'm going to, but I am learning to deal with it. Hopefully within a year, I'll have that very expensive and well deserved piece of paper!
5. My dating life has been...interesting to say the least. After so many rejections/failures/psychos, I've decided to take a little hiatus from men altogether. No, I'm not swinging the other way, I just think this is a good time to take a break and just do me for awhile. Of course, even as I say this I have a good friend trying to set me up with her brother. I'm not putting all of my eggs in one basket though. ;) This is a great time to work on my relationship with Jesus. I've been struggling, but He's still good and loves me no matter.
Okay, enough of the official sounding stuff.
I haven't been able to get this song out of my head for MONTHS now. It's getting beyond ridiculous:
I want tacos..and mac and cheese. All I want to do is eat anymore. I think I'm trying to carb up for the winter!
Wishing I had a few more friends (or just a friend) to do something with. I worked this past weekend but got off early enough to do something, but had no one to do anything with. Oh well. I guess with work and school getting ready to start I will have plenty of opportunities to meet people.
I have plans for St. Paddy's day, but because of the crappy friends I've had in the past (if you're reading this entry, you are not included in that group) I'm afraid that plans are going to fall through or the person is going go back out on me. Sigh. Such is life.
ANYWAYS...I'm painting my toenails! That always makes me happy. I'm lovin' my hair too! It looks a little orange, but I'm rockin' it out. Because of how fried it all was, she really had to re-layer it (i.e. cut a bunch of it off), so I've got the length still, but have these funky short layers mixed in. I like it; it's fresh!
I went and looked at laptops tonight. My parents are buying me a new one for my graduation present (and because my old one is about 7 years old and a hand-me-down). The guy at Best Buy seemed to know what he was talking about, but the thought of dropping that much money...even though it's not mine...made me panic. I've been reading reviews online and the one he was pushing seems pretty legit. So, maybe by the end of the week I'll have a new lappy!
I bought an ipod touch with my tax refund and have been having a lot of fun with it so far. It barely has any music on it, but I think I'm going to wait until I get my new laptop before I start putting music on it to put onto my ipod.
Ok, ok...I'll TRY to update my blog more than once a month, but I'm not making any promises. Baby steps.
I went to Chambana this weekend. It was nice to see some old friends, but at the same time was very weird because a lot of people aren't there anymore and because I feel like I've changed so much in the past few years since being away. I love me my Swartzendruber girls though...so much so I'm thinking about changing my name.
I'm watching one of my all time favorite movies right now. I've always been a little "off kilter". Love me some old school Pauly Shore.
Going back blonde tomorrow...hopefully. I'm so afraid I'm going to end up with some weird colored hair. I've become quite attached to the brunette. In fact, I LOVE it...it's just getting to be a little much to keep up with. I'll post a picture.
Me and the hubby (my BFF Jason) are talking about going on a "honeymoon" this summer. We've been wanting to do a for realz vacay during our summer breaks so we thought, since everyone already thinks we're together anyways, why don't we save a few bucks and do a package deal?! We'll see if we actually follow through...
I'm not going to be a doormat anymore. Although I think I've figured out how to assert myself a little more than I used to be able to, I'm becoming more and more aware of how I've let people run over me in the past.
Especially when it comes to boys, I've just kind of stood by as my heart has been shattered into pieces and shrugged it off. NO MORE! Boys, beware! I'm on to your crappy behavior.
I don't know that I'll ever become a regular at this blogging thing, but sometimes it's nice to get things out when I have no one else available to talk to.
It's official...I graduated from the CIA on January 22, 2010 with my AOS in baking and pastry arts. The current plan is to take classes this summer and transfer BACK to the CIA in August to get my BPS. We'll see how it goes.
I'm single again which, to my dismay, a lot of people still don't seem to realize. Getting hurt isn't exactly something I like to broadcast over a megaphone. It wasn't nasty...in fact, we're still amicable and send each other random texts and call for help when needing it with the opposite sex. I'm still feeling really silly for allowing myself to be caught up in such a foolish whirlwind and once again letting my emotions get the better of me. I realize that everything happens for a reason and there are always lessons we can learn, and I hope to be a willing student. I've also become very lonely again. I like singlehood for its independence, but I also hate it for its solitude.
Because I never came up with a real "Plan B", upon graduating, I had to move back in with my parents where I've remained for the past two weeks pennyless, jobless and friendless. Oh, I know I have friends here, but none without many responsibilities. If living in a different world 7 years ago weren't already obvious, time has widened the chasm making it glaringly obvious. While getting married at a young age and having children can be a very admirable thing, it also seems to be the fashion in this vortex of a region. Those who haven't followed the custom seem to be the oddity and if a mate and offspring aren't in the near future, then neither are topics of conversation.
Being a full time student at 26 comes with its bag of challenges. I've met these challenges full force and have been shaken up and spit out- standing, but with wounds and scars. I'm trying to remain strong but have occasionally crumbled under the pressure. Yes, I fully realize that I'm still a student and I'm heading back to school in the Fall, but also realize that I'm 26 years old. I feel at this age as if I should have accomplished something and moving back in with my parents, although temporary, is a huge blow to the ego. They've been gracious enough to allow me into their home and even have made their efforts to allow me space (as much as their obtrusive personalities can), and I am grateful. Staring at a full closet while while trying to empty 2 more suitcases was enough to make me collapse on the bed in silent sobs. I long to have the day back when I have my own closet, my OWN space. I feel 16 all over again.
My bestie gave me a great card before I left school. It referenced fire hydrants and dogs. He wrote inside how I've had quite the fire hydrant type year and pretty soon I was going to be top dog. I just wish I knew when.
On the lighter side of things, my niece was hurriedly making a birthday card for one of her friends. When she signed it where it was supposed to read "BFF" actually read "BFE". If only she understood the irony.
Man, I really need to get better about this writing thing. It's fun to be able to go back and actually see what I've written in the past.
At this stage in my life, there are very few things of which I'm certain.
1. Dad loves His children more than any other earthly being and unfathomably cares for every single one of us...even the seemingly insignificant details that add to the mountains of stress some of us seem to shoulder.
2. I have a man who loves me more than I can comprehend.
3. I'm paying out the butt for schooling in which I've all but lost interest.
I'm not going to quit. What good would that do? I'm just trying to find a way to reignite the passion that I'm lacking. Blatantly obvious in schooling and maybe just as obvious to those on the outside is my lack of passion for just about anything else. I know it's just a season, but how do I get out of the rut and how long does this season last?
Everything in my life seems to take a little more work and perseverance than the average person is required. Perhaps it is so I can learn true appreciation of achievements and attaining my goals, but is it really THAT detrimental for things to come a little bit easier on occasion?
Just letting some things out that have been ticking in my brain for the past few months. I know there's something good just beyond the horizon, so I'm going to keep holding on until I reach it.
So much to do and little time left to keep procrastinating. Life's breathing down my back now and it's taking a lot out of me not to have one of my freak out moments. I realize freaking out doesn't change anything, and it especially doesn't help, but I'm kind of in that place now that there's so much to do and deal with that I don't know where to begin.
I know God is in control no matter what. It's always been super hard for me to relinquish that control to him.